The Once King Read online

  “Really,” Tina said, face heating. “How can you even ask that? You know I’ve had a crush on you for—”

  “I love you too!” SilentBlayde cried, jumping back to grab her hand in his. “I’ve loved you since level one, back when we first grouped up seven years ago!”

  Tina blushed harder. “You mean when I was Roxxy?” She looked down anxiously at her human body. “Um…it’s not going to be a problem now that I’m not her anymore, right? I can’t turn back into a stonekin.”

  Blayde vigorously shook his head. “I love you,” he said emphatically. “It doesn’t matter what body you’re in or what character you play. You’re the one I want. From the first time we partied together, you were the coolest person I’d ever met. You were brave and funny and fearless and always charging ahead toward amazing things. I’ve had a massive crush on you since that very first night, and it’s only gotten stronger the more we’ve played together. What could I call this feeling but love?”

  By this point, Tina’s face was so red she thought she’d spontaneously combust. She knew she must look terrible, but SilentBlayde was staring at her like she was the only thing he could see.

  “Do you know how hard it was not to tell you?” he whispered, reaching out to brush his elegant elven hand through her floofy hair. “When I saw you in real life on the web cam after we started making videos together, I knew I was doomed. The real you was just too beautiful. I wanted you so badly I could die, but I was the monster locked in my family’s attic. I knew I could never actually be with you, but I couldn’t bring myself to let you go. For seven years, I’ve lived in terror of the day when you quit FFO and I’d never see you again. It made me desperate, and I did so many stupid things because of that fear. I’m sorry.”

  His hand was still in her hair, his long fingers threading through the wild curls with a wonder Tina couldn’t understand. Then again, maybe she could. She certainly had the same feeling when she reached out her own shaking hand to place it on his chest, grinning when she felt the shiver run through him.

  “It’s funny you should say that,” she said, moving closer. “Because I thought you were super cool when I first met you, too. You were so smart and together, and you always had my back. I loved getting us into trouble just for the fun of seeing how you’d get us out.”

  “You were attracted to me because I was competent?” SB asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “And funny and kinda underhanded,” she added, taking another step. “Also a handsome elf. That’s an important factor, not gonna lie. Plus you were good at your class, which is always hot.” She grinned. “There’s more. I could stand here listing reasons why I love you all day. Maybe I will, just to watch you squirm.”

  That was a bluff. Now that she was two steps in, Tina was very aware of how close he was. She understood now why he’d always been self-conscious about his face, but that handsome, perfect, elven face was the only one she’d ever known for SilentBlayde. Part of her felt guilty for that. She wanted to see his real face at least once, if only to prove that she’d love him no matter what he looked like. But if this was how they were stuck, she was fine with that, especially when he was looking at her as he was now, his sky-blue eyes filled with adoration. When he looked at her like that, the chill of the Deadlands vanished. She was much too warm, actually, and wearing way too much metal.

  That, at least, she could fix. Keeping her eyes on his, Tina pulled her hand off his chest and reached up to brush her fingers over the runes that held her magical armor together. A few moves was all it took to send the protective metal falling off her like a shed carapace, leaving her dressed in only the oversized shirt Zen had given her. Eyes wide, SB took a nervous half step back, but Tina didn’t give him a chance. She was already closing the distance again, wrapping her bare arms around his neck.

  He went stone still as she settled against him, his body so tight she didn’t see how he was still breathing. “Um…Tina…” he managed at last, his perfect face adorably red. “Are you…that is…”

  “You’re not the only one who’s been wanting all these years,” she told him quietly, rising until their faces were mere inches apart. “The only reason I pushed you away was because you wouldn’t tell me the truth. It was never because I didn’t want you.” She smiled, tilting her head. “Seriously, did you miss how hard I chased after you all these years? I thought I was pretty obvious.”

  SB didn’t seem to know what to say to that, so Tina made the decision for him, rising on her tiptoes to close the distance between their heights with the kiss she’d been waiting for for what felt like her whole life.

  ***

  SilentBlayde’s mind was in chaos. He’d told her everything, thought it was over. But now, somehow, here he was with her soft body pressed up against his chest, and she was kissing him.

  Tina was kissing him.

  That thought drove all the others away. His legs were threatening to give out, so he sank to the ground. The moment he sat down, Tina settled herself in his lap, her slight weight resting fully on top of him, her arms around his neck, her soft chest against his, her lips on his mouth, the scent and warmth of her hair filling his senses. It was overwhelming. It was heaven.

  Shaking, he reached up to wrap his arms around her as well. He’d imagined this moment for so many years now. All that time, it’d only ever been something that could happen in a dream, but he wasn’t dreaming now. They were here on the ground in Garrond’s command tent. Both of them, wrapped together.

  And Tina was still kissing him!

  Shivering with unhealthy levels of excitement, SB peeled his gloves off and tossed them on the ground. No longer bound by leather, he was free to reach up and cup the side of her face with his bare hand. Her skin was even softer than it had looked on camera, but the real thrill came when Tina leaned into his touch, her body melting into his as she broke the kiss at last to start pressing tiny, feather-light kisses all over his face.

  He was going to die, he decided. Just keel right over from joy. The only reason he didn’t was because that would mean he’d have to stop touching Tina. He’d already run his other hand down her back, feeling the delicate curve of her spine through the rough fabric of the shirt she wore like a dress.

  A dress with nothing under it.

  He almost did die then. One didn’t exactly meet a lot of girls locked in an attic, but SB had only had eyes for Tina since he was fifteen. She’d been his obsession, his joy, his best friend, his greatest tragedy, and his reason for living, the person he wanted most and the one thing he could never have. But all those contradictions were in the past, lost in another world. In this world, right now, the love of his life was kissing him like there was nothing else she’d rather do, and so SB held on for her sake, throwing himself into the moment. The greatest miracle of his life.

  He kissed her with everything he had, determined to make up in enthusiasm what he lacked in experience. He got his face to the side and slowly worked his way from her collar up her neck, paying careful attention to her reactions. When she made a good sound, he did that again, determined to make this as world changing for her as it was for him. He was so focused on her reactions, actually, that he was caught completely off guard when Tina reached up to run a mischievous finger over the long arch of his left ear.

  He broke away with a gasp, making Tina jump. “Sorry,” she said, a beautiful flush spreading over her cheeks. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No,” he breathed, his whole body twitching. “God, no. It just surprised me. I didn’t know my ears were ticklish.”

  A devilish light gleamed in her eyes. “Reaaaaaaaaally,” she said, grinning like a cat with a mouse as she reached up to do it again.

  He could have dodged, but SB didn’t want to. It was far more enjoyable to be caught, even if it did end up with him writhing with laughter on the ground as she tickled him mercilessly. “Stop, stop!” he cried when he couldn’t take it any longer.

  Laughing so hard she could scarcely breathe, Tin
a did as he asked, collapsing on his chest to catch her breath. Then they both stopped breathing entirely as they realized their new position. SB was lying on the ground with Tina on top of him, their bodies separated only by her shirt and his armor. He was about to apologize—for what, he didn’t even know, it just felt like the right thing to do—when Tina got that look in her eye again.

  “You have too much clothing on,” she informed him, tapping her fingers against the black-and-red leather.

  Blayde went still all over again, but this time it was in fear. He hated being naked. Hated being seen by anyone, actually, which was why he wore a mask. But that was all damage left over from the old world. This was here, where he was a different person with a different face, and the love of his life was waiting for him. He’d almost lost her because of his past once. Was he really going to let it happen again?

  Breathing hard, SB sat up and ran his fingers down the runes hidden along the side of his chest piece. When the armor loosened, he wiggled out of it, peeling off the leather and the undershirt that protected his body in the same motion. As it came free, he glanced nervously down at his chest. His father had hit him there too, leaving ugly dents and scars. He was so used to seeing them, he was surprised when he looked down and found SilentBlayde’s flawless skin, the lean muscles straight and unmarred.

  He was reaching down in wonder when Tina beat him to it, her small, pale fingers touching his character’s Photoshop-perfect abs greedily. “Now the rest,” she whispered, her brown eyes warm and giddy.

  Who could say no to that? He did as she asked, stripping off all his remaining armor. With every new bit of him that came into view, the feeling of freedom deepened. It was like when he’d caught sight of his face in the mirror back in Bastion, but more. Bigger. He hadn’t realized how much he’d worn this body like a mask until he was sitting naked on Tina’s cot. But as she stared at him in open appreciation, it finally occurred to SilentBlayde that he was truly reborn. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve such a miracle, but he was not going to keep them waiting any longer.

  With that, he reached out for her with both arms. Tina came eagerly, but when he started to lift her shirt so she could be as naked as he was, she grabbed his hands.

  “Sorry,” he said, letting go at once. “Am I going too fast?”

  “No, no, it’s not that,” she said, her brows furrowed in frustration. “It’s just…You’re this glorious magical creature with perfect golden everything, and I’m, you know, me.” She sighed. “Gotta be a hell of a disappointment.”

  “You could never be a disappointment,” he told her, reaching up to cup her face. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

  She gave him an incredulous look. “You wanted a frizzy-haired short girl with stumpy legs and no boobs?”

  “I wanted you,” he reminded her. “And I’ve always thought you were beautiful. Why do you think I didn’t say anything the first time you video called me?”

  “You said your mic was broken!”

  “My mic was fine,” he said, leaning in with a smile. “I was broken. Seeing you for the first time left me unable to speak Japanese, much less English.”

  Tina threw back her head as her cheeks went scarlet. “Oh, that’s it,” she said. “You’ve done it now.”

  “Done what?”

  “Been too sweet,” she murmured, leaning in to kiss him again.

  He kissed her back desperately, determined to show her just how lovely he thought she was. He’d always hated when Tina disparaged herself, but he’d never been able to fight back without giving his feelings away. Now all that was done, though, he was determined to make sure she knew she was beautiful every single day. Not that that would be hard. She was even more lovely in person than she’d been on the screen. Cameras couldn’t capture the warmth of her skin or the light in her eyes as she leaned back and peeled off the shirt, leaving her naked in front of him.

  Now he couldn’t speak. Fortunately, words were unnecessary, because Tina was already kissing him again, dragging him down with her to the cot.

  SB didn’t do much thinking after that. His brain was completely consumed by the physical experience of Tina and the desperate need to remember every single second. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he was certain they were headed somewhere very good when Tina suddenly stopped again.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  She gave him a funny look, and SB realized he’d just said that in the wrong language. Shaking his head to get his brain back online, he asked again in English and was treated by the rare sight of Tina looking flustered.

  “I’m, um, a virgin,” she said, twisting her fingers anxiously through his hair. “I mean, I know what’s supposed to happen, but we’re already way further than I’ve ever gone, so…yeah. Just nervous and stuff.”

  “Nothing wrong with that,” he told her. “I’ve never done it either.”

  She didn’t look surprised by that. Not that she should be what with his confession that he’d been a prisoner in his own house, but something was still off. Her body was rigid, and her fists were balled up in the blankets, almost as if she were trying to hold on.

  “I want to,” she told him quickly when she saw where he was looking. “It’s just, you’re a lot bigger than me now, like physically taller, and it’s kind of…I mean, I don’t know what I’m—” She gritted her teeth in frustration. “You know what, never mind. I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

  She reached for him then, but SB caught her hands. “Tina,” he said gently. “You’re not tanking me.”

  She looked insulted by that, and he sighed. “Let’s not go so fast,” he whispered, leaning in. “I don’t know what I’m doing, either.”

  That made her laugh at least. “Some pair we are.”

  “Noobs the both of us,” he agreed, sliding up to nibble her ear. “But we learn fast.”

  Tina didn’t have a comeback for that one. She just gasped underneath him, almost making him forget that going slow was his idea. But he knew he’d only get one chance to make their first time right, so Blayde forced himself to calm down and move slowly. Slooowly. Holding back, until…

  Tina grabbed his shoulders. “Now,” she whispered.

  That was all he could take. With that word, the dam of SilentBlayde’s self-control shattered. Fortunately, Tina was right there with him. It was awkward and silly and undignified in places, but even with both of them fumbling their way through, being with her was better than he’d known to imagine. Even trying his best to commit every moment to memory, there were long stretches when all he could do was hold on and be happy. So ridiculously, stupidly happy that he almost broke out laughing right in the middle. Tina would not take that well, though, so he held it in, kissing her through his smile until there was nothing left in him but her.

  When it was over, they both collapsed, panting, onto the cot. SB didn’t think the poor wooden frame was made for such abuse, but despite being obnoxiously loud, it had performed like a champ. Not that he would have noticed if it had dumped them on the ground, but he was happy they didn’t have to lie in the dirt as Tina wrapped herself around him with a deeply contented sigh.

  “I think we aced that.”

  “I don’t know,” he said with mock thoughtfulness. “I think we might have to try again. Maybe several more times.”

  She laughed. “Not unless you want to get a healer in here.”

  He froze, suddenly terrified. “Did I hurt you?” Because Tina would absolutely tank her way through if she thought she had to. He was already cursing himself for a thoughtless fool when she shook her head.

  “Nah,” she said, smiling so contentedly his fear couldn’t hold up. “I’m just not used to that particular movement yet. But I’m a fast learner. Give me a bit and you’ll be the one begging for mercy.”

  Now it was his turn to laugh. “Not everything’s a competition, you know.”

  “Says you,” she replied, reaching up to play with a lock of his hair. �
�At least I finally understand why people make such idiots of themselves over sex. It’s pretty awesome.”

  “It is,” SB agreed contentedly. Then his face broke into a grin. “I’m glad our first time was fucking in tents.”

  Tina buried her face in his chest with a groan, then she looked up. “Would you say we’re on a roll now?” she asked, patting the bedroll beneath them.

  “Our virginity is definitely past tents.”

  He was pretty damn proud of that one, but then Tina scooted up to whisper in his year. “Just lemme know when your tent pole is up again.”

  He choked, turning so bright red he had to surrender the pun battle. Smirking in victory, Tina settled into his chest like a smug cat, pulling the blanket tight over herself against the Deadlands’ chill.

  They lay like that for a long time. That was perfectly fine with SB. He was still in awe over the fact that Tina was really here, with him. He was hoping she’d fall asleep on his chest—because that would be adorable—when she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  Tina pushed up on her elbow to give him a serious look. “I’m sorry I didn’t do more to help you. I knew there had to be a reason you were hiding so much, and I had a feeling it was bad, but I was too afraid of driving you away to press the issue. Now, after hearing how bad it was, I feel like I should have.”

  “It’s all right,” he said quickly. “You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you. Even if you had, what could you have done? We were two broke kids with an ocean between us.”

  “We could have done something,” she argued, stubborn as ever. “Our video channel was making bank those last couple of months. I could have saved up enough to send you a plane ticket to Seattle. Once you were in the States, I could have married you to get you your green card, and then you’d never have had to go back. Your dad couldn’t have done shit about it from all the way…”

  She was still talking, but SilentBlayde’s brain had hung on one sentence and could not let it go. The words were stuck on repeat in his head, but no matter how many times they circled, he still couldn’t believe they were real.