Spirits End Read online

  “We’re a miserable excuse for a family,” he said, leaning back on his hands beside her. “A traitor, a thief, and a woman who’d give her right arm for a hint at the secrets of the universe. ”

  “Left arm,” Sara said, fumbling for her pipe before remembering she’d left it upstairs. “I’m right-handed. ”

  “Left arm,” Banage repeated. “Or another man’s lungs. ”

  “It is all a bit monstrous,” Sara admitted. “But it was necessary, Etmon. ”

  “Was it?” Banage said, his voice soft in the dark. “Did you ever think about maybe not striving so hard?”

  Sara’s only answer to that was a scoff, and Banage sighed.

  “You know,” he whispered, “I didn’t set out to be Rector. What I really wanted was to live with you and Eliton together. To be a family. A real one. ”

  “Well,” Sara said, “if that was what you wanted, you could have had it at any time. I was always willing. You were the one who left because you didn’t approve of my work, remember?”

  “How could I forget?” Banage said. “You rub my face in it every chance you get. ”

  “Well, we none of us are quitters,” Sara said. “I don’t think I could have loved you were it otherwise. ”

  Banage reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers so tight against his that his rings cut into her skin. For a moment, Sara could feel his power in the air, warm and heavy and wonderfully familiar. Then it was gone, and a great scraping of metal and stone filled the silent chamber.

  “The soldiers will be coming now,” Banage said. “I wanted to make sure the water had a chance to drain away before they arrived. ”

  “Can’t have it falling back under my evil ways, eh?” Sara said, lying back against the stone.

  Banage didn’t answer. But then, without warning, he leaned down and pressed his lips against her cheek. It was a soft, sad touch, filled with regret. It lasted a few heartbeats, and then Banage was standing, his shape vanishing into the dark.

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  “I’m sorry. ”

  The words were out before Sara could stop them. She didn’t even know what she was apologizing for. Hurting him, maybe, or putting him in prison, or just not being the person he wanted her to be. Maybe it was everything, but it didn’t matter. His answer came quickly, the words so sad they ached.

  “So am I,” he whispered. “Good-bye, Sara. ”

  She tried to speak, but her voice wouldn’t come. Her throat was stuck, her tongue dry and useless. Powers, she wanted a smoke. A good pipe on a sunny balcony somewhere far away from the ruined shambles of her life. Instead, she got glaring lanterns and the thunder of boots as the soldiers surged into the cavern.

  “Down here!” someone shouted. There was a string of curses and clanging metal as the men climbed over the downed tanks, and then she heard a man shout her name. The light moved to shine right in her face as a pair of young guardsmen dropped to their knees at her side.

  “Lady Sara!” the one in the officer’s coat cried, holding his lantern high. “What happened?”

  Sara pressed her fingers against her eyes, trying in vain to blot out the glare. “Too much,” she muttered. “Help me to the Merchant Prince. It looks like I get to ruin his day twice over. ”

  There was a chorus of shouts as the soldiers ran to obey. Sara let them lift her, too tired to protest when the pair of guardsmen slung her between them like an oat sack. She closed her eyes as they carried her past the destruction, past Sparrow’s body, still lying where it had fallen. Only when they’d climbed the stairs and emerged into the noise and light of the Council Citadel on high alert did she let herself look ahead to the long, painful, hateful, slow process of rebuilding, or at least patching over, everything that had shattered today.

  “What was that, Lady Sara?” her guard asked, looking down.

  “I said, get me a new pipe. ”

  “Yes, Lady,” the guard said, and then he turned to shout the order over his shoulder.

  Sara scrubbed her eyes, breathing shallow against the growing pain in her back. Through the windows she could see the sunset painting the white walls of Zarin in bright oranges, as bright as Banage’s fire bird. Feeling slightly ill, Sara turned away, letting them haul her up the endless stairs to Whitefall’s tower.

  Powers, this was going to be a long night.

  CHAPTER

  12

  Eli woke up to the familiar feeling of Josef’s boot in his ribs. He rolled over with a grunt, blinking in the dark.

  “Hour till dawn,” the swordsman whispered. “Time to go. ”

  With a noncommittal grumble, Eli sat up off the board floor and rubbed his aching eyes. Oh, the comforts of home. He arched his shoulders to get the kinks out of his back and looked over. Josef and Nico were standing under the tiny street-level window set high on the wall. The street lamps’s glow filtered down through the wood-thatched shutter, the only source of light in the small basement they’d taken over for the night. When Josef saw him looking, he tossed Eli something small and dark. The thief caught it by reflex and looked down to see a round loaf of dark bread.

  “Eat,” Josef said, eyes narrowing as Eli took a small bite. “Quickly. ”

  “It will be faster if I don’t choke,” Eli said, chewing thoughtfully.

  Josef’s scowl deepened. “It would have been faster if we’d used the night to get out of town. ”

  “Some of us haven’t been living like a king,” Eli said pointedly, breaking the bread in two. “And unlike you two monsters, I need normal, human amounts of sleep. I’ve had a very rough few days, thank you very much. ”

  Josef shook his head and turned back to the window, glaring suspiciously at the passing feet of the early-morning traffic. Beside him, Nico leaned against the wall staring intently at the Heart of War’s blade, which was leaned up beside her.

  Eli shoved the bread in his mouth, wondering what the demonseed saw when she looked at Josef’s sword. Not for the first time, he wished he could see as she did, as spirits saw. He’d been curious his whole life, but when he’d asked Benehime, back in the days when he still asked her for things, she’d just laughed and told him there was nothing to see.

  That line of thought brought him right back to the place he didn’t want to go. Eli slumped on the ground, chewing mechanically. The first rule of thievery said that the only person you had to be honest with was yourself. It was the rule he broke more than any other, and he always, always regretted it.

  Eli’s hand slid under his shirt of its own volition, feeling the smooth, unburned skin of his chest. Yesterday he’d almost believed that all he had to do was get to the Shaper Mountain, get his lava spirit back where he belonged, and then everything would be fine. He’d have Karon, he’d have his freedom, he’d have Josef and Nico, and the world would be roses. No more dealing with his past, no more walking the edge of Benehime’s displeasure. Paradise, or as close as he could hope to come. Now, with the rush of his escape gone, the truth was getting harder and harder to ignore.

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  Eli closed his eyes and forced himself to face reality. There was no way Benehime would actually let him go. They’d argued before, never that badly, but if Benehime could be convinced with words alone, he’d have been rid of her a long time ago. Whatever freedom he felt was an illusion, nothing but slack in his long leash. Any moment, she’d pull it taut and he’d be right back in her lap again.

  Eli grimaced and tongued the bread that had gone to sawdust in his mouth. How stupid, getting his hope up. He should know better by now. She was the only prison he could never escape.

  Across the room, Josef said, “What?”

  Eli jumped. “What?” he repeated dumbly.

  “You’re looking uncharacteristically gloomy,” the swordsman said, folding his arms over his wide chest. “That’s usually a bad sign. ”

  Eli sighed. If
Josef was noticing, it must be bad. “Just feeling sorry for myself,” he said, all smiles as he polished off the last crumbs of the bread. “I’m a tragically heroic figure, you know. ”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Josef grumbled, pushing off the wall. “But if you’re done with your sulk, we need to talk business. I’d like to know how we’re getting to the Shaper Mountain without walking halfway across the continent. You said you had a plan. ”

  “Yes,” Eli said, clearing his throat to buy some time. Josef was staring at him like a hawk, his whole body poised like he was about to charge. Nico was looking at him as well, one skeletal hand picking idly at the coat that pooled around her like spilled ink. Under such scrutiny, Eli couldn’t help but think how many times they’d sat like this, hidden in some hole while he laid out his brilliant plan to turn everything around. Trouble was, this time he didn’t know what to say.

  He took a deep breath and started with the truth.

  “We have to move fast,” Eli said. “I saved Karon from the volcano who expelled him years ago. My body was the only home he had left. Unless Benehime sent him to another volcano, which I doubt she was thoughtful enough to do, he’s fighting for his life as we speak. If conditions are right, he can keep his core alive for several days, but if Benehime dumped him somewhere cruel, like into the sea or under a glacier, he’s already snuffed out. The only way to know for sure is to ask the Shaper Mountain. If there’s a chance Karon’s still alive, I need to get to him fast. Anything less would be an insult to all the times he’s saved our lives. ”

  “If that’s how it is, why did you go to sleep?” Josef said, crossing his arms.

  “Because I was tired,” Eli said, rubbing his eyes. “Because running off on no sleep is a quick way to make mistakes we can’t afford, because I need every bit of my mind together before I try to get the Teacher to do me any favors, and because if we can do this like I’m hoping we can, Karon’ll be back in my chest by this afternoon. ”

  “This afternoon?” Josef said, loud and incredulous. “Powers, Eli. We couldn’t fly there that fast. What the…”

  His voice trailed off when he saw Eli wasn’t looking at him but at Nico. Josef looked back and forth between them, his scowl deepening, but it was Nico who spoke.

  “The white gate in the air,” she said softly, her dark eyes boring into Eli’s. “You’re going to open the hole through the world again. ”

  Eli shook his head. “I can’t do that anymore. ” He stopped a moment, surprised at how strange it felt to admit that. But it passed quickly, and he pressed on. “The only one who can help me now is you. ”

  Nico’s eyes went wide, and Eli held his breath. She knew what he was asking. He could see it on her face. But before she could answer him, Josef’s voice fell like a sword stroke, cutting the silence clean through with a single word.

  “No. ”

  The anger in Josef’s voice made Nico cringe. She shrank back, feeling like a coward as she hid beneath her hood. Across the room, Eli’s eyes flicked to the swordsman, his boyish face falling into an uncharacteristic scowl.

  “Josef,” he said, his voice as light and pleasant as the morning breeze. “I respect your opinion, I really do, but this isn’t your call. ”

  Josef didn’t move. He didn’t have to. Nico could feel the tension rising in him, ready to spring. “Do you even know what you’re asking?”

  “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be asking. ”

  Eli smiled and stood up, walking across the room to fall to a crouch in front of Nico. He reached out and snatched her hand before she realized what he was doing, clutching her thin palm between his long, nimble fingers. She stared at him, thrown off guard not just by the contact but by Eli himself. This close, she could see the faint glow of the light he’d shown her up on the roof back in Osera, when they’d first found out she could see as spirits saw. His spirit wasn’t open now as it had been then, but Nico could see that the mask he usually kept so smooth was beginning to fray. She stared at him, gripping his hand just as tightly as he gripped hers. What had happened in the days he was away from them? What had that woman done?

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  “Nico,” he said, his voice earnest. “I know you can take people with you through the shadows. I saw you do it in Osera with Josef. Den also carried me that way, back in the mountains when he took me from Izo’s. He carried me hundreds of miles over impassible terrain, and then he took me back again, walking through the shadows like they were his own private highway. That’s how I knew I could ask you. You’re stronger than Den ever was. ”

  Nico began to tremble. “I’m not—”

  “You are,” Eli said fiercely. “I saw you in the valley outside Izo’s. Even when you were lost in the demon, you stopped yourself from hurting Josef. You saved him even though you didn’t know yourself, and then you beat the demon. You conquered the enemy even the Shepherdess couldn’t best, and you did it on your own. That’s the only reason I’m asking this, because I know you can do it. ”

  He inched closer, pushing her hand against his chest, his blue eyes earnest and pleading as his heart thudded against her fingers. “All Karon did was care for me,” he whispered. “Because of that, and because he spoke his mind, the Shepherdess threw him away. I couldn’t do anything to stop it, but I refuse to let him die, not if there’s the slightest chance I can save him. I’m begging, Nico, if I’ve ever done right by you, please take me through the shadows to the Shaper Mountain. I know it’s far and I know it’ll be hard, but I’ll help you any way I can. Just please, please help me undo this wrong. Help me save Karon, if there’s anything left to save. ”

  Nico closed her eyes and stared at the darkness behind them, the endless, empty blackness. The Demon of the Dead Mountain waited there for her. She’d beaten him inside her own head, but the shadows were his world, not hers. Alone, he couldn’t touch her, but she wasn’t sure she could protect Eli and Josef from the demon’s grasp. Even if she could open her spirit wide enough to shelter them, the Shaper Mountain was a long, long way away. They would have to cut the journey into several small jumps, and there would still be long periods in the dark where the demon could work his way in.

  But that wasn’t all. Something had stirred in her yesterday when Eli said they were going to the Shaper Mountain, something far below her conscious mind. A deep, throbbing pain, the kind that meant she was treading dangerously close to memories she’d suppressed. The pain was there even now, bleeding through the wall of her memory.

  She took a ragged breath. Whatever the memory was, she didn’t want it. She’d locked her past away for a reason, and the pain alone was enough to warn her that going to the Shaper Mountain was a bad, bad idea, however they got there. And yet…

  Nico opened her eyes to see that Eli hadn’t moved. He was still crouched in front of her, his face so full of hope and trust she wanted to cry. How could she disappoint him? He and Josef were so strong, and she was always so weak. Always the soft spot, the brittle link, and now he was counting on her. Depending on her.

  She didn’t realize her hand was shaking until Eli moved his other hand to join the first, pressing her trembling fingers against his shirtfront with both palms. She was the one who could see souls, but his eyes were the ones that looked through her, reading her fears like posters.

  “I know you can do it,” he said again. His thumbs rubbed against her skin as he spoke, a soft, soothing motion. “All you have to do is get me there. I’ll do the rest. ”

  “You can’t. ” The words were so tremulous, so afraid that Nico almost didn’t recognize her own voice. “The shadows are the demon’s realm. You don’t understand, the fear—”

  “How can I be afraid if you’re with me?” Eli said, his face breaking into a smile. “You beat the demon already, remember? If you can master your own soul, you can kick him out of the shadows. ” His voice warmed as he spoke, suffusing Nico with confidence and hope. “This is your chance to take hi
s final stronghold, to beat the demon once and for all. You can do it, and we’ll do it with you. You’re not alone, Nico. We’re a team, now more than ever. All you have to do is help me get—”

  He never got to finish. One moment he was in front of her, gripping her hand, the next he’d vanished. It was over so quickly Nico didn’t realize what had happened until she saw Josef was standing beside her with Eli dangling in front of him, his wrists bound in the vise grip of the swordsman’s fist.

  “Josef!” Eli shouted, his feet kicking. Josef didn’t move. Nico couldn’t see his face from where she was, but she knew from the set of his shoulders that he was furious. Killing furious. Behind her, the Heart of War began to shake.

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  “Don’t. You. Dare. ” Josef’s voice was low and cold, and each word was sharp as a dagger. “Don’t you dare try to con her. ”

  Eli’s eyes widened. “I wasn’t—”

  Josef dropped him before he could finish. Eli fell with a grunt, hitting the floor hard. He scrambled to his feet and stepped back, putting a foot between himself and Josef, who’d moved in to block Nico with his body.

  “Josef,” Eli said, his voice pleading. “I don’t know how you got the impression I was—”

  “You don’t?” Josef growled. “Then you must think I’m an idiot. I’ve been with you on a lot of jobs, Monpress. You think I don’t recognize how you work?” His hand whipped back, finger pointed directly at Nico’s face. “You were talking to her just now like she was a damn door. Powers, man, you were even stroking her hand. ”

  Eli closed his eyes, throwing his head back in frustration. “It’s not like that. ”

  “Oh sure,” Josef said. “You had nothing but Nico’s best interests at heart while you were trying to convince her that helping you get where you want to go was the next phase of her battle with the demon. Like taking you to the Shaper Mountain was her damn destiny instead of your self-serving idiocy. ”

  He took a step forward, looming over Eli, and for the first time ever Nico was glad she couldn’t see Josef’s face.

  “I warned you before,” Josef growled. “Don’t ever try to con me. You’re not stupid, so I’d figured you’d understand that that warning extended to Nico as well, but guess I underestimated what a selfish bastard you could be. ”